We have spoken often about how persuasion can, when directed by respect and commitment to win-win outcomes, is not only NOT a “dirty word,” but something which, when we do it right, others appreciate. We’ve touched on some of the ways we can do this, such as using genuine empathy and respect, which I call […]
Friendships are among the most meaningful and fulfilling relationships we can have in life. They offer companionship, support, and shared experiences that can last for years, even decades. However, as we grow and evolve, sometimes our friendships don’t evolve with us. There may come a point when you realize that a close friend’s values no […]
We all wish we could read minds sometimes. Whether it’s in a negotiation, a team meeting, or a first date, understanding what someone really wants—not just what they say—can be the edge that changes everything. You don’t need telepathy. You need Radical Understanding. I call it this to emphasize it’s an action we take, and […]
I was quite surprised by the intensity of the reader responses to a previous article (Ending Friendships Over Politics…). Likely due to the outcome of the United States election earlier that month, there was more fervor than I’d expected. For one, I’m unaccustomed to being called, in the same month, a “left-wing lunatic,” “right-wing extremist,” […]
“You’re Gaslighting me!” Gaslighting is a term that has gained significant traction in recent years, often discussed in the context of toxic relationships and psychological manipulation. As with any term that takes the zeitgeist by storm, the term is often overused or misused. Though it’s very real, and as dangerous as it is insidious. Understanding […]
“When you change yourself, you change the world…” Not a new idea, though profound as you consider it fully. I’ve had clients who were so externally-focused and therefore their notion of “power” was making others conform to their will. While such things are clearly possible, it’s not the most effective way to influence others or […]
If you’ve ever said something like, “I knew what to do, I just don’t do it,” or “Knowing what to do, I didn’t do what I know,” or even if you simply got so caught up in an argument or feeling attacked, then you can relate to emotional overwhelm. That’s when in the heat of […]
Why be an optimist when the cool kids are cynics? If pessimism is in vogue, then this post might seem silly. But there are many reasons to stop and take this seriously. Let’s start with a premise: Optimists live longer, happier lives. To prove that optimism leads to a longer life, consider the Placebo Effect. […]
Calibration in Human Behavior is one of those not-so-secret, though often-overlooked skills. Simply, calibration is noticing the differences in people, between moments–observable shifts in their objectively noticeable, outward behaviors. That includes changes in skin tone or coloration, posture, movement, though it can also be more subtle. I’ve shared a story before about noticing pupil dilation […]
The end of an intimate relationship, as with the end of a friendship, is no cause for celebration. Though a truly toxic relationship must end. If you’ve exhausted all options for correcting the behaviors and healing the wounds, ending the relationship may be the only sensible thing. Then hopefully each of us can go on, […]