Calibration in Human Behavior is one of those not-so-secret, though often-overlooked skills. Simply, calibration is noticing the differences in people, between moments–observable shifts in their objectively noticeable, outward behaviors. That includes changes in skin tone or coloration, posture, movement, though it can also be more subtle. I’ve shared a story before about noticing pupil dilation […]
Curiosity does more than lead to massive innovations in our quest for prosperity, even survival. It tunes our senses to gather the information we need. In the question of Influence, for example, we presuppose that the other party doesn’t yet agree with us. And maybe that’s true. So how do we respond? Some people become […]
Rules of thumb form in every culture, and for the most part, survive because overall, they work. Though for an example of one that should probably die off, search “rule of thumb origin.” It’s widely said that “Curiosity Killed the Cat,” and yet I’ve had a number of cats in my time, and while each […]
I’ve always been fascinated by Influence, how leaders or influencers get us to take an action they prefer. Which means I’ve sat through more “get-rich-quick” pitches than you likely would. It was interesting, and I’ve learned a lot. Naturally, many of these pitches simply lie to make us believe something will work for us. Some, […]
For this exploration of complex relationships, we’re going to break it into steps. This first one deals with creating Rules or agreements that you each will follow and respect. You may already know why this is important. If not, stick with me. Relationships take work. Surprise! Before you explore the pictures that just invited your […]
Picture yourself looking out at a familiar site, something you can easily imagine. This is something you can recall in your mind’s eye and see with great detail. Get a good look at it in your imagination, see the colors, the landscape, the angles, shapes… Get a clear image of it. Next, imagine that you […]
I was asked recently about the concept of “influence” and whether it was somehow a bad thing. In my mind, the words may have well been, “Effectiveness–isn’t that somehow a bad thing?” Influence is no more good or bad on its own than is “ice skating” or “spelunking”. Although you might disagree if you truly […]
In 1998, I was asked by my local Chamber of Commerce to explain how an NLP technique could make a difference in everyday life. There were a lot of Tony Robbins fans in attendance, so they were all familiar with the concept of Anchoring—he taught it to them in one of his tape courses. I […]
This article is excerpted from a workshop on 2001 called “Advanced Negotiation for Thinking People.” We naturally experience life via our own perception, vis-à-vis our senses. Like Association-dissociation, this can be both vital to our fulfillment or limiting, depending upon the situation. When associated, experiencing life directly, we naturally experience things in a more direct, […]