One of the challenges posed to me involves what I call the Decision Review. I not only believe in this, I’ve seen it in every relationship where I’ve exerted influence. When we persuade, we are using reason (we hope), emotion (always), and perhaps skill and technique. I’ve experienced first-hand how those we persuade, regardless of […]
Now let’s build upon what we’ve learned about Radical Understanding. We’ve spoken about reading invisible channels, setting aside our perceptual filters to get real information, paying close attention, and even to eliciting the other person’s strategies and identifying the relevant parts of the other person’s Map of the World. Remember what we said about Map […]
We’ve now spoken in prior articles about the difference between observation and interpretation, as well as invisible channels of communication. We’ve further explored how learning to pay attention to everything, setting aside any filters which limit us, affording us full access to our perception. This can appear to others to be a form of “extrasensory” […]
We’ve now spoken about the difference between observation and interpretation. Because this is an important distinction as we learn to better read others, we’re going to explore it a bit further. We want to develop the habit of noticing what’s before us without applying significance or meaning to it. Any interpretation of what we’ve observed […]
Previously, we spoke about the very important skill of Calibration. The ability to detect the differences in people–observable shifts in their outward behaviors–is critical to Persuasion. As part of Radical Understanding, however, this takes on an even deeper meaning. Learning to calibrate changes in others as well as ourselves, as we strive to understand other […]
Calibration in Human Behavior is one of those not-so-secret, though often-overlooked skills. Simply, calibration is noticing the differences in people, between moments–observable shifts in their objectively noticeable, outward behaviors. That includes changes in skin tone or coloration, posture, movement, though it can also be more subtle. I’ve shared a story before about noticing pupil dilation […]
Curiosity does more than lead to massive innovations in our quest for prosperity, even survival. It tunes our senses to gather the information we need. In the question of Influence, for example, we presuppose that the other party doesn’t yet agree with us. And maybe that’s true. So how do we respond? Some people become […]
Rules of thumb form in every culture, and for the most part, survive because overall, they work. Though for an example of one that should probably die off, search “rule of thumb origin.” It’s widely said that “Curiosity Killed the Cat,” and yet I’ve had a number of cats in my time, and while each […]
I’ve always been fascinated by Influence, how leaders or influencers get us to take an action they prefer. Which means I’ve sat through more “get-rich-quick” pitches than you likely would. It was interesting, and I’ve learned a lot. Naturally, many of these pitches simply lie to make us believe something will work for us. Some, […]
For this exploration of complex relationships, we’re going to break it into steps. This first one deals with creating Rules or agreements that you each will follow and respect. You may already know why this is important. If not, stick with me. Relationships take work. Surprise! Before you explore the pictures that just invited your […]