Virginia Satir, the brilliant family therapist, who introduced us to Conjoint Family Therapy, contributed on a grand scale to our understanding of relationship and family dynamics. She was brilliant at identifying unhealthy dynamics in a relationship and educating the members to function more effectively together. Yet one of her more startling contributions was what many […]
Tad James, one of the (and by some accounts, THE) first NLP Master Trainer, once repeated the joke, “What’s a meta for?” Indeed. That linguistic playfulness is a powerful key to influence as hypnosis uses many different pathways, that being one of the easiest to learn. Though to build on James’ question, metaphors can guide […]
“Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.” ― Alfred A. Montapert Years ago, I came up with (I thought) the pithy and clever: “Never confuse activity with productivity.” I read a lot, so when I later came across the quote at the top, I felt properly chastised. My ingenious observation was […]
There is a fundamental linguistic challenge at the heart of this one. In hypnosis, a concept called “deletion” is a very useful device. It references an implication, one the unconscious mind is too clever to miss—though is not overtly stated. If I tell you, “Today, I’m doing okay,” on the surface, I’m simply telling you […]
I was asked recently about the concept of “influence” and whether it was somehow a bad thing. In my mind, the words may have well been, “Effectiveness–isn’t that somehow a bad thing?” Influence is no more good or bad on its own than is “ice skating” or “spelunking”. Although you might disagree if you truly […]
NLP speaks about maps of the world, a robust collection of perceptions, beliefs, values and experiences that determine how we will perceive the world around us. Think of it this way, you have some desirable destination in mind, and you know which means of transit can get you there best. Most likely you’re not, for […]
Perhaps the most common theme in this site is to pay attention. In NLP, we speak of “sensory acuity”, maintaining a sharp awareness of our surroundings, scanning for opportunities, threats, any relevant details. It also refers to perceiving as accurately as possible those details. Though bias is inevitable, we strive to capture details with as little […]
Whether you believe in such concepts as “fate” or “signs from God”, or (substitute your own term for divine intervention or synchronicity), every now and then life reveals glimpses or reminders of the path to which we’ve devoted ourselves. Keli, my wife, and I were walking into a store not long ago, around sunset. The […]
When we impose limits on ourselves, this is the first and some might argue, most authoritative boundary we will ever encounter. Take a simple, arguably silly, example. You awaken after hitting the “snooze” button a total of three times. Now you’re running late. You leap out of bed, adrenaline triggered by the awareness of potential […]
Robin Williams, dead at 63. He made us laugh and he made us think. In the end, he made us cry. Much has been written about movie and music stars who seemed to have had it all – fame, success, wealth, sometimes even a good relationship – then who shocked us by taking their […]