Where Desire and Strategy Converge…Or Don’t

Virginia Satir, the brilliant family therapist, who introduced us to Conjoint Family Therapy, contributed on a grand scale to our understanding of relationship and family dynamics. She was brilliant at identifying unhealthy dynamics in a relationship and educating the members to function more effectively together. Yet one of her more startling contributions was what many […]

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Sound, Fury, and…Nothing

“Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.” ― Alfred A. Montapert Years ago, I came up with (I thought) the pithy and clever: “Never confuse activity with productivity.” I read a lot, so when I later came across the quote at the top, I felt properly chastised. My ingenious observation was […]

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Deletions Matter

There is a fundamental linguistic challenge at the heart of this one. In hypnosis, a concept called “deletion” is a very useful device. It references an implication, one the unconscious mind is too clever to miss—though is not overtly stated. If I tell you, “Today, I’m doing okay,” on the surface, I’m simply telling you […]

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Sublinfluence™ – Out the INfluence Door

I was asked recently about the concept of “influence” and whether it was somehow a bad thing. In my mind, the words may have well been, “Effectiveness–isn’t that somehow a bad thing?” Influence is no more good or bad on its own than is “ice skating” or “spelunking”. Although you might disagree if you truly […]

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Writing on the Wall

Perhaps the most common theme in this site is to pay attention. In NLP, we speak of “sensory acuity”, maintaining a sharp awareness of our surroundings, scanning for opportunities, threats, any relevant details. It also refers to perceiving as accurately as possible those details. Though bias is inevitable, we strive to capture details with as little […]

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Motive Experts!

Whether you believe in such concepts as “fate” or “signs from God”, or (substitute your own term for divine intervention or synchronicity), every now and then life reveals glimpses or reminders of the path to which we’ve devoted ourselves. Keli, my wife, and I were walking into a store not long ago, around sunset. The […]

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