Nature versus Future

I recently was told that since humans aren’t by nature monogamous, any time we try to live that way, we encounter struggle. Humans are a good many things by nature, and a good many more not so. For example, most of us would agree that “survival of the fittest” seems to hold true. Even those among us […]

Read More →

Imagine them Naked…

When you spend a lot of time doing anything–even something others consider intimidating or scary–such as public speaking–it’s easy to overlook the skills you call upon so often. We tend to achieve, via “overlearning” or rehearsal, such a high degree of familiarity and comfort with that skill that we no longer can relate to others […]

Read More →

Where Desire and Strategy Converge…Or Don’t

Virginia Satir, the brilliant family therapist, who introduced us to Conjoint Family Therapy, contributed on a grand scale to our understanding of relationship and family dynamics. She was brilliant at identifying unhealthy dynamics in a relationship and educating the members to function more effectively together. Yet one of her more startling contributions was what many […]

Read More →

Sound, Fury, and…Nothing

“Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.” ― Alfred A. Montapert Years ago, I came up with (I thought) the pithy and clever: “Never confuse activity with productivity.” I read a lot, so when I later came across the quote at the top of the page, I felt properly […]

Read More →

Deletions Matter

There is a fundamental linguistic challenge at the heart of this one. In hypnosis, a concept called “deletion” is a very useful device. It references an implication, one the unconscious mind is too clever to miss—though is not overtly stated. If I tell you, “Today, I’m doing okay,” on the surface, I’m simply telling you […]

Read More →

Sublinfluence™ – Out the INfluence Door

I was asked recently about the concept of “influence” and whether it was somehow a bad thing. In my mind, the words may have well been, “Effectiveness–isn’t that somehow a bad thing?” Influence is no more good or bad on its own than is “ice skating” or “spelunking”. Although you might disagree if you truly […]

Read More →

Writing on the Wall

Perhaps the most common theme in this site is to pay attention. In NLP, we speak of “sensory acuity”, maintaining a sharp awareness of our surroundings, scanning for opportunities, threats, any relevant details. It also refers to perceiving as accurately as possible those details. Though bias is inevitable, we strive to capture details with as little […]

Read More →

The Secret of the As-If Frame

The As-If Frame is based upon Ericksonian Hypnosis technique which leverages a “pseudo-orientation in time.” What do we mean by that? Let’s say you are yourself or are working with someone who feels “stuck” by a problem. “Stuck states” often lead to limited behavioral flexibility, which robs us of our power over ourselves, our influence […]

Read More →