It’s common that, because much of our path is chosen for us–by our family, our peer groups, our culture–that people embark on a life on autopilot, at least to some degree. Parents, teachers, any significant adult in a child’s life, instills values, beliefs, ultimately habits, that lead us forward, like stepping into a slow-moving stream. […]
(Portions of this article were excerpted from an NLP Practitioner Certification class I held in 2002) We covered in a previous article what a strategy is, and used Decision strategies as not only an example, but a playground. While we use strategies for nearly every significant thing in our lives, motivation strategies have got to […]
“Better! Faster! Smarter! Sexier! Cheaper!” Our hyper-competitive culture is continually striving to overthrow the status quo with the nascent, emerging competitor. In some ways, this is merely a reflection of how Nature does things–try new variations often, and those which lead to greater chance of survival win. Those which hamper survival instead die out. Very […]
I was quite surprised by the intensity of the reader responses to a previous article (Ending Friendships Over Politics…). Likely due to the outcome of the United States election earlier that month, there was more fervor than I’d expected. For one, I’m unaccustomed to being called, in the same month, a “left-wing lunatic,” “right-wing extremist,” […]
NLP uses a mechanical-sounding term for the process of noting differences. An oversimplification, sure. but these are differences most people overlook. Or even if they catch shifts in others or themselves, they likely miss the significance. This is why I count this skill as reading “invisible channels of communication.” Calibration is one of the most […]
Because I value a wide array of perspectives, I not only don’t shy away from people who think very differently from me, I have pursued it. Worse…I conduct social experiments frequently. This means that, while in most cases I’d be called a Centrist, I’d maintained connections with some varied folks. I can say with confidence […]
“You’re Gaslighting me!” Gaslighting is a term that has gained significant traction in recent years, often discussed in the context of toxic relationships and psychological manipulation. As with any term that takes the zeitgeist by storm, the term is often overused or misused. Though it’s very real, and as dangerous as it is insidious. Understanding […]
Top performers in business, sports, and any other challenging endeavor speak often of “trusting my gut.” Historically, there is another term for this, which is “Intuition,” and when I spoke with a client about this, he winced. “Sounds too much like ‘Women’s Intuition,’ he said. But who would limit themselves by gender when it comes […]
If you have a blade and you store it until you need it, then only take it out when you need it, you will often find it’s lost its edge. Time and elements, even when you’ve been careful to preserve it, have dulled the blade. The same is true for our mental and interpersonal skills. […]
If you’ve ever said something like, “I knew what to do, I just don’t do it,” or “Knowing what to do, I didn’t do what I know,” or even if you simply got so caught up in an argument or feeling attacked, then you can relate to emotional overwhelm. That’s when in the heat of […]