It’s common that, because much of our path is chosen for us–by our family, our peer groups, our culture–that people embark on a life on autopilot, at least to some degree. Parents, teachers, any significant adult in a child’s life, instills values, beliefs, ultimately habits, that lead us forward, like stepping into a slow-moving stream. […]
We all wish we could read minds sometimes. Whether it’s in a negotiation, a team meeting, or a first date, understanding what someone really wants—not just what they say—can be the edge that changes everything. You don’t need telepathy. You need Radical Understanding. I call it this to emphasize it’s an action we take, and […]
As you’ve followed the work I do, using it to make your life work better than before, you know a bit about how we influence ourselves. One of the most powerful toolkits is neurolinguistics, and the effect language has on our neurology. There are a lot of things we can change simply by changing the […]
There is within you an absolute MONSTER capable of doing anything you want. Since that monster is balanced with the rest of your life (if not, I can help with all that), you may find moments, perhaps a lot of them, whereby this can help you a great deal. Letting that monster announce itself, establishing […]
“Better! Faster! Smarter! Sexier! Cheaper!” Our hyper-competitive culture is continually striving to overthrow the status quo with the nascent, emerging competitor. In some ways, this is merely a reflection of how Nature does things–try new variations often, and those which lead to greater chance of survival win. Those which hamper survival instead die out. Very […]
I was quite surprised by the intensity of the reader responses to a previous article (Ending Friendships Over Politics…). Likely due to the outcome of the United States election earlier that month, there was more fervor than I’d expected. For one, I’m unaccustomed to being called, in the same month, a “left-wing lunatic,” “right-wing extremist,” […]
NLP uses a mechanical-sounding term for the process of noting differences. An oversimplification, sure. but these are differences most people overlook. Or even if they catch shifts in others or themselves, they likely miss the significance. This is why I count this skill as reading “invisible channels of communication.” Calibration is one of the most […]
Because I value a wide array of perspectives, I not only don’t shy away from people who think very differently from me, I have pursued it. Worse…I conduct social experiments frequently. This means that, while in most cases I’d be called a Centrist, I’d maintained connections with some varied folks. I can say with confidence […]
Top performers in business, sports, and any other challenging endeavor speak often of “trusting my gut.” Historically, there is another term for this, which is “Intuition,” and when I spoke with a client about this, he winced. “Sounds too much like ‘Women’s Intuition,’ he said. But who would limit themselves by gender when it comes […]
“When you change yourself, you change the world…” Not a new idea, though profound as you consider it fully. I’ve had clients who were so externally-focused and therefore their notion of “power” was making others conform to their will. While such things are clearly possible, it’s not the most effective way to influence others or […]