Conflict as a Catalyst to Closeness

At a workshop recently, as usually happens, I was asked a great question – “Is conflict always bad?” First off, no, conflict itself is not bad in and of itself. Disagreement between two parties can elicit potentially useful distinctions and strengths. So if it’s not negative, why do relationship counselors so often struggle with, and […]

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Uncommon Ground

Every computer used to have its own character set (most common is UTF-8). Unicode encoding created commonality (shared map) that computers in a particular region could share, simplifying communication. Though the technology metaphor may be apt, stay with me even if it isn’t familiar to you. I’m illustrating the very point I wish to make: […]

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Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

I worked with a client recently who had taken extraordinary steps to bring about change in their culture and ethos. So far, so good, right? One quarter later, they reversed everything. Why? And what happened there? The company had a growth target that they wanted to maintain, and to that point, they had slowed. If […]

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Forgiveness is FOR YOU

You deserve to be happy, as does everyone else. Actually, using the word “deserve” illustrates a common misconception, that happiness must be earned before any of us can have it. Though have you ever watched the very young at play? Whether human babies, puppies, kittens, just about any breathing thing is a great example. They […]

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Just Semantics – They’re Only Words

Consider the following two sentences: Many of us have experienced the oddity of the emotional affair. We may have even been guilty of indulging in one. I itilicize that word because our choice of predicates radically impacts how we feel about it. Language is powerful. Consider briefly how different you feel as you read the […]

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In Good Times As In Bad

It’s easy to be good to your partner when things are going well. When we’re happy, isn’t it easy to treat everyone around you well? Our partner is (hopefully) the closest person to us in the world. So he or she knows when something is wrong even before we tell them. They know our patterns, […]

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Love, Honor and…Obey? Part 2

The “Love, Honor, and…Obey?” article seems to have created a considerable amount of concern among readers. I’ve been quite surprised by this, despite the worldwide publishing phenomenon from a few years ago (aka “The Decline and Fall of Western Literature”) known as the Fifty Shades trilogy. First a statement about those ridiculous books. I’m truly […]

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